Recently, while watching the news I saw this story. “Bond denied for mother charged in connection with Adrionna Williams’ death“. My first thought was, WTF! How could a mother do that to her child? Then after listening to the story I felt sad. I wanted to reach out to that mother. During the investigation, police say they found a notebook in her car. In it there is a letter, where she says, she is upset that she is a single mother and doing it alone. Now being a single mother does not excuse the crime, but I feel for her. I know how hard it is to raise a child and I am doing it with a active partner. The early mornings, late nights, expenses and stress of taking care of a child is enough to drive anyone over the edge.
We have all heard of the old African proverb “It takes a village to raise a child”. For these mothers that kill their children I want to stand up and scream “WHERE THE HELL IS THEIR VILLAGE”? Where are the people that gush over you when you are pregnant? Where are those people that can’t wait to see or hold the baby when he/she is born? What about the women from your baby shower? Everyone is quick to ask you how you are doing while pregnant but disappear after the baby comes. Why? Do you think the hard part is done so it is time to back away? On the contrary, after having a child the hormones and stress just begins.
I always say, there is a thin line between normal and insane. We have all tiptoed on that line before. When you are exhausted and you don’t really feel human. When you feel yourself loosing it over the smallest things. These are the times that your village should be there for you. You should be able to call someone. Reach out and get help. Not saying that everyone is crazy, but when you have no one to turn to, its understandable when you loose it. There are so many support groups and programs that can help.
As woman though we are taught to “Do it all”, “Lean In”, or “Handle your business”. We are conditioned to not ask for help. Our mothers and grandmothers did it so why can’t we? Well, our mothers and grandmothers did it while staying home in most cases. Woman were expected to stay home and take care of the children. Also, there wasn’t this constant stream of facebook, tv, instagram and pinterest in your face all day long. We were not in competition for the Best Mom Award back then. You raised your children the best you could and wasn’t judged for every. damn. thing. you. did. Or if you were judged you did not know.
There are several organizations that are designed to help moms get the help they need. Here are just a few:
Advocacy Network (C.A.N.) • 412-310-1750
Angel’s Place, Inc. (formerly Mom’s House) • 412-321-4447
Birthright (unplanned pregnancy) • 412-621-1988
Children with Diabetes Support (JDRF) • 412-471-1414
Cancer Caring Center • 412-622-1212
Care 21 (Down Syndrome Support) • 724-444-6956
Catholic Charities • 412-456-6999
Children’s Hospital of Pittsburgh • Parenting Classes & Workshops—412-692-7105
Good Samaritan Hospice • 724-933-8888
International Dyslexia Association • www.interdys.org
Jewish Family/Children Services • 412-422-7200
La Leche League • 412-276-5630
Lifeline of S W PA (pregnancy support) • 724-282-1200
Magee Pregnancy Hotline • 800-454-8155
MOMS Clubs • www.momsclub.org
Mothers and More • www.mothersandmore.org
Mothers of Multiples • www.npmoms.org
MOPS (Mothers of preschoolers) • www.mops.org
People Concerned/Unborn Child • 412-531-9272
Warm Line – Family Resources • 800-641-4546
Women’s Choice Network • 412-687-7767
YWCA Women’s Counseling • 412-255-1162
Also, in just 9 days, there is a class that is hosted by Pgh Brown Mamas (www.brownmamas.com) in which you will learn the skills needed to be a Mommy Master. It is called Mastering Motherhood Workshop and is made possible by a Sprout Fund Grant. During the workshop you will learn about Meal Planning, Sewing, DIY Cleaning Products, Mindful Parenting, Couponing, Budgeting to name a few. The Mastering Motherhood Workshop is a series of moving, outdoor, hands-on 45-minute sessions that will take you from #goodmama to #MommyMaster.
This workshop is for mothering newbies, moms who need to brush-up on their #homelife skills and moms who are struggling with motherhood. Mommy Masters are ready and willing to help you become the best mom you can be. These workshops are for moms and taught by moms. Hope to see you there.
For more information please go to: https://www.facebook.com/events/689388007832263/
I sincerely hope you reach out to other moms and form your village. There is no better feeling, then having a great support group of friends, that are there for you. Remember, we all need help sometimes.
Be kind to each other!