• Carol A. Gerner

The tale of the Pizza Dip

Steel City Mom is proud to welcome back our buddy Tim. Lets sit back and enjoy what has been going on in his little corner of the earth…….

I love my lady. I really do. For the first time in my life, I’m not running in the opposite direction of commitment. This alone should speak volumes.

Now I needed to say that first in order for you the understand the next part.

Sunday, the day when the Steelers stood against the Broncos. In the morning, my lovely lady made this smorgasbord of dips and nom noms. And I crawled out of bed at the butt crack of noon (I worked until midnight people, and didn’t go to bed until after 4). After all it was my one day off that week, and I wanted to soak it up.

My beautiful fiancé made this “super awesome yumminess” (her words not mine) of a loaded baked potato dip and this pizza dip. Well I wanted to be a sweetie and leave the dips for the boys and Jessie, as before she even had it out of the oven and on the cooling rack, they had crackers digging into it. Que the screams of he got more than me. It’s hot! It’s hot! I want a drink. Stop touching me. MOM!!!!

While my baby doll was wrestling a piping hot pie plate seconds from the oven with one hand, and using one foot to push back the Hurricane and using her free arm to hold back the Tornado from burning himself on the aforementioned plate still in her hand, I decided it was safer to get the hell out of the way, and head down to my play room. I mean after all she got this mom thing down, right?

Sunday comes and goes, and she barely talks to me all day. I spend the entire day trying to figure out how or what I did to illicit such attitude. A quick dip into the vodka while my head is spinning, wondering why I got the death ray every time she looked at me… Well lets just say while everyone slept my beer muscles started to grow while I stood next to my tool box in the garage. And… she heard every syllable… Oh and did I fail to mention Sundays, she works from 3am to 11am, and it was my day to watch the boys? Yeah…

Monday. Hmmm Well I go and do the work thing and come home at night to an absolutely quiet house. Everyone is already in bed. Happy she didn’t change the locks on me, I stayed in the basement, where it was safe. About 2am, I started to get hungry when the Vodka started to kick in. Sneaking into the kitchen full blown ninja style, I hunted through the fridge. (Edit: two hundred and forty pound intoxicated men are not as agile and silent as ninjas. They just think they are.) I find a pie plate of pizza dip about two thirds gone, and a half eaten bag of potato chips. Dinner. I mean its been sitting there since yesterday,  and I don’t want it to go bad.

Tuesday morning, I crawl out of bed to the laser beam death ray from across the room. I gently tip toe over to give her a good morning kiss, and the dam breaks. Now people, I’ve been roasted before, but believe me the Pope himself was blushing all the way back in Italy. And… then I started to laugh when I realized why she was unhappy.

The doctors say I will be able to walk again, but I’ll always have that limp. Lol

So… I now know how to make a super awesome yumminess pizza dip, and this dip would like to share.

1 half cup of milk 6 oz cream cheese 2 half cups of mozzarella cheese (shredded) 1 half cup of parmesan cheese (shredded) Your favorite pizza sauce And toppings

Take a medium pot and put on stove with heat. Add your half cup of milk, six ounces of cream cheese, half cup of mozzarella, and half cup of parmesan. Cook and stir completely, then pour into pie plate. Add your sauce, second half cup of mozzarella, and additional toppings. Place in oven at 450° until it starts to bubble up on the sides and the cheese on top is thoroughly melted.

Then presto. Super awesome yumminess pizza dip.

#dip #kids #motherhood #pizza

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